I lie here, phone in hand staring at the screen as she sleeps soundly by my side. However it may seem she is never far from my thoughts. My desire is to take her in my arms, smother her in my kisses and to make love to her. To roll into her arms, sliding between her legs in the way we have so many times before.
The damage caused by the disease however is too great. Even if she wished to join with me she remains physically incapable, the brain and emotion of the woman I loved, lusted for and possessed trapped within a body no longer capable of sustaining such desires.
The pain is great and seems never to be without end. I am but a hollow shell of the man I once was, my interior eroded by the suffering the disease brought upon us both. The moments tick by as I lay here, emotionally devastated by circumstances over which I had no control.
A husk, passing the hours, afraid to sleep but for the terrors dreams will bring.
